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You and I
©2000 Janet Stickmon
(continued)
But anak, I was so happy with you.
You and I,
We watched Johnny Carson together
Until you fell asleep and
I scribbled Johnny’s jokes on the bottom of tissue boxes
So in the morning I could tell you what he said.
We shared jokes for breakfast
So my evening dose of solace
Could extend into the next day
Am I trying to escape or be in the moment?
I don’t know,
But in the moment,
You and I
We forget the conventional use of this tissue box
You thought I was just watching Johnny,
When I was resting from battle,
I was tired of yells and fights,
Of empty bank accounts,
Social insecurity checks,
Medi-Cal share of costs,
Sibling hate rupturing my internal respite
The reverie interrupted…
Now a thousand of my cries lay upon one empty breath
Trying to come to revelations upon revolutions
Spun in circles searching for resolutions
I, now, aware
That I belonged anywhere
His jokes would take me.
As long as I was happy,
I was happy.
But anak, I was so happy with you.
You and I
We are apart, now.
And we’re here together.
But, you can’t see me in this cramped grave.
I’m pulling my homeland from the trash can
To see if Johnny will make me laugh now.
I plunge my hands through
Shacks and broken glass,
Squatter fear and chismosas,
All for five remaining memories of my homeland.
Hoping you can redeem them
For more than 40 cents a pound
More than happiness
Redeem them for my blood.
Redeem them for our hearts
The ones we crushed in the park together.
Anak, I was so happy with you.
Back to Part I
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Copyright ©2005 Carayan Press
